Wall of Thought

New Hobby....kind of

2011-12-28T00:22:00.000-08:00

So I've decided that I'm gonna make myself blog every day until new years next year. Why? I dunno. I feel the need. Maybe it'll make me a more interesting person. Maybe it'll make me a better communicator. We'll see what happens over the course of the year.

And since not everything is resolved just yet.....let's revisit what the police refer to as "The Incident".

I filed my report today. I didn't really want to at first because I know that I'm not gonna get any of that stuff back, but then a friend told me that I should and linked me to the website. I saw it as a really good idea at that point. Even though I'm not gonna get any of that stuff back, it's good to let the law people know what kind of stuff gets stolen. That's how all those spiffy, helpful statistics get made. So I put it in. I'm not getting my hopes up about getting anything back though.

I really wish they had left the socks. All the other stuff I'm over already, but I really needed those new socks.

Anyway, I dug out all my spare cards that I never really used last night and started looking through them. It was pretty therapeutic for me. I also realized that I didn't lose all of my good cards. I still have some really good ones. I'm actually working on a couple new decks now. They're gonna be really oldschool and cheap. They should be fun.

So yeah, that's gonna be my blog today. I'm going to bed.

Dear Thieves,

2011-12-27T02:25:00.000-08:00

You upset me pretty bad. You took my BEST Christmas present. You took my most USEFUL Christmas present. You took the main part of my hobby that took YEARS of my life to assemble. You took my means of hydration that I was gonna use while working. I could sit here and be pissed about it. I could start living in fear because my security in life was broken. But I'm not gonna do either of those things. I'm not saying that I'm completely over it, but I'm getting there.

I could have really used those socks, but I don't absolutely NEED them. Those drinks would've made my days at work a lot easier, but I can get by with tap water. The plum wine would've been really delicious, but I don't need booze. You took the best parts of my nerdy hobby, but it's just a hobby. You took a few other things too. None of which were really NEEDED for me to continue on in my life.

So Merry Christmas you guys. I hope you're nerdy and/or savvy enough to appreciate what I gave you. Put it to good use and you'll be blessed. :D

Sincerely,

Samuel Wall

The Path of the Emo

2011-11-02T00:39:00.000-07:00

Because apparently that's what I am. One event in which my friends upset me and I'm supposed to apologize to them. Sure I overreacted, but my feelings on the matter are still valid. Yet no one thinks this is so. So here I am on blogger venting about the whole thing. Because what the fuck else am I supposed to do about it.

Admittedly, I have a slight anger problem. There are times when my reactions are completely unwarranted. And people think that for some reason that makes the times when I'm validly upset not matter. "oh that's just sam. He gets mad easily." And that's the shit that made me this way in the first place. So will the cycle ever end? Probably not. Am I gonna kill myself over it? Hell no. It's not that bad. I'll go live as a hermit in the desert before I kill myself. That's actually sounding like a really good idea now. FUCK! Why the fuck don't I matter to anyone? Seriously. I never have. Not emotionally anyway. No one has ever given a fuck about how I feel. I don't even know why I bother. Seriously. I'd be happier alone I think. And people will read this and think that I don't want them in my life. Because no one actually LISTENS to what I'm saying. So for those of you that read this and want to say that I'm an asshole for saying these things, let me tell you what I'm actually saying.........

I WANT MY FRIENDS IN MY LIFE. I WANT MY FRIENDS TO ALSO CARE ABOUT HOW I FEEL AND NOT JUST BRUSH IT OFF AS MY ANGER PROBLEMS. I WANT YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT MY FEELINGS ARE JUST AS REAL AS YOURS.

But will they get it? I dunno. I guess we'll see.

shifting priorites

2011-09-26T01:13:00.000-07:00

you know how sometimes you start something thinking that it's what you want but then when your there and enjoying yourself, you realize that it's a really bad idea? I hit that place tonight. Do I regret doing everything I did? not really. should I keep doing it? probably not.

I changed my priorities thinking that my life would be amazing. It's not. Sure I'm enjoying all of it, but there is this little nagging doubt that's there the whole time. I tried shrugging it off and it's not going anywhere. So I'm changing my priorities again. Not back to what they were, but to what they should've been for a long time now.

Doing this I think will help me with EVERYTHING in my life. And doing this, if I stick to it, will make everything not needed in my life just drop off. Well, I might have to cut a few things off. But I don't really know yet. I'll probably know really soon though.

So, my new priorities in order:

1) GOD
If I don't have HIM first, then I'm gonna fuck up royally. Basically I need to ask myself, "Does this glorify GOD?" If the answer isn't YES, it's gotta go.
2) ME
I've got to start focusing on my WELL BEING. I've got to start selfishly seeking my good out. That doesn't mean doing what ever I want. That means doing EVERYTHING I need to do. Work out, eat right, go to church, etc.
3) CHURCH
I've GOTTA start helping out again. Somewhere.
4) GIRLFRIEND
If she's not on the list, I may as well be single, right?
5) Everything else.
It'll all fit in the right place as long as I keep the first four in the proper order.

I think I've made this list before. And if you look at the top of my blog, the spirit of it is reflected there. I just gotta stick with it. I really do.

thought vomit ad nauseum

2011-09-11T19:09:00.000-07:00

I got fired from walgreens because I started swearing in front of customers. Stress got to me, I snapped, and the floodgates opened. It was a bad day all around. I was sunburned, so I was miserable from that. I had just had a day with a good friend where we started digging into each others nerves. So I felt bad about that too. With all this, there were the customers. Mobs and mobs of them. None of them really wanting to wait their turn. No one around to help me out. Equipment not working. Thoughts of throwing everything on the ground and smashing it all to bits. And then...SNAP. And it was over. I sounded like I belonged in a navy bunker or something. A lady got pissed about her 12 year old daughter being there and hearing it. A nice guy that had a little trouble understanding what I was talking about because I couldn't properly explain things due to my stressed brain. And a gaggle of other faceless people just trying to make their pictures pretty. It all culminated in me erupting with expletives. I can't blame anyone but myself for what happened. I was the one ultimately in control of what I did. I could get into the emotional elements that were there. I could talk about my history and how it had a huge hand in my reaction. But I know there's really nothing to blame except me. And that pisses me off. Because I can't always control myself. For a guy that's so big on handling things and training and whatnot, I really have no idea what it's like to be any of that.

I've never had control over anything in my life. And now that I'm in a spot where I have to control things, I really have no idea what the hell I'm doing. And that's another thing that pisses me off. I'm pissed off because I don't know how. And I'm pissed off because I feel like there's no one to teach me. And even though I KNOW there's plenty of people out there helping me to learn (my dad, friends at church, God) it still FEELS like I'm all alone in this. And I've felt like this almost my whole life. I'm sick of it. And I don't know how to get out of it. I really don't.

This isn't to say that I haven't made any progress. I can look at where I was two years ago and look at myself now, and I see that I've come a LONG way. But when I look at where I THINK I SHOULD be, I start feeling so depressed about my life. And that's another thing that's starting to piss me off about myself. I'm constantly looking at how things SHOULD be. And that's really a lie. I'm looking at how I WANT things to be. And the differences between that and how they ARE are so huge, that the only reaction to seeing it is to get depressed. I really need to stop doing that though. I think I'd be a lot healthier mentally and emotionally if I could just look at how things are and accept that. But saying that makes me also start thinking, "If I just accept it, where's the motivation to make things better?" And with that, that old prayer comes to mind:

Give me the courage to change the things I can
the grace to accept the things I can't
and the wisdom to know the difference.

I should really make that my mantra I think. I should also look up that whole prayer. should should should. I use that word a lot. I'm gonna take it out of my vocab for a while. Let's see what happens.

I feel a lot better after letting all that out here.

I guess it's time.

2011-08-11T22:19:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't posted anything since Harry Potter 7. Not that there wasn't anything to post; there's a lot to post about. So at the beginning? Yeah.

1) I got fired from Walgreens.

I got mad, started swearing at the computer, and got four different complaints lodged against me. That's the short version. I may post the long version later if I feel like it.

2) I'm going back to school.

I will be majoring in Psychology. Possibly a minor is something else. I have a deep set desire to help people with issues, so I will pursue that.

3) I am now a sign twirler.

Though I don't really get to TWIRL the signs. I just stand out there on the corner and shove into people's faces. It's somewhat cathartic. I'm not entirely sure why.

4) I won free entry into a Yu-Gi-Oh event

I've been training alot. Trying to get myself up to tournament level. Not sure if I ever will be, but dag-gummit, I'm gonna try. Not sure why I care so much about winning at a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament, but I do.

And with that, I bid you all farewell. I'm off to do........something.

HP7!!!!!!!!!!!

2011-07-16T00:59:00.001-07:00

It was very entertaining. Mainly because of the crowd in the theater.

Highlights:
-Ron and Hermione making out
-"Stupid girl!"
-"Who's is it now?" "Mine."

Lowlights:
-Fight scenes that were WAAAAAAYYYYY shorter than they should've been.
-Voldemort's face. eww.
-Stupid people clapping for things that you KNOW are gonna happen.

Yep. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows part 2. Watch it if you're a fan or if you've seen all the other movies. Otherwise, meh. Go see Winnie the Pooh.

what to do....

2011-07-13T15:14:00.000-07:00

When you're sitting here and completely unmotivated, what do you do? You know you should be doing something productive, but at the same time, you don't see the point to it either. So you end up just sitting there being bored.

And that's where I'm at right now. My brain keeps reminding me about everything I COULD be doing but my psyche doesn't really see a point in any of it. And to that everyone says "Just do what you know you should be doing." It's that simple, isn't it?

Yes and no. Sure I could just start doing things. Laundry, applications, hobbies, etc. But if there's no motivation behind it, then usually nothing really actually happens. Anyhoo, that's where my head is at right now. Gotta get motivated somehow.

Man I'm "Fired" Up

2011-07-12T03:01:00.000-07:00

It's time to get a new job. Not entirely voluntary, but that's okay. Some interesting things come up in my initial searchings for work.

The first is DamnINeedAJob.com. It's a fairly interesting concept. One that I like. One that would make me really consider giving someone a job if I was in the position to do the hiring. My friend says that it's a lame idea. I'm thinking about getting one of the shirts for myself.

The second is another interesting concept: Stop Looking So Hard. It's another idea that I like because I've realized first hand how true it is. So I'm not gonna give up completely, but I'm not gonna put all my energy into it either. Why do that when I can also put some time on bettering myself in other ways? There is one problem with this method though. It takes great mental and emotional strength to go through with it.

But the one thing I do know about all this is, the thing that gets you a job is face time. All the jobs I've ever had, I got them because I talked with someone face to face. You can do all the applications you want, but if you don't get any face time, then all that time is wasted. That's why I know that there is truth in both of these concepts.

So wish me luck. Pray if you feel led. I'm off to sleep and possibly have an answer appear in a dream. It could happen. :D

I'm BACK Baby!

2011-06-27T23:56:00.001-07:00

so I'm online again. That means that pics of the new place will be going up soon. But not tonight. I'm too tired and in too much pain. I got to celebrate my new online status last night with a trip to the hospital. I stepped on a nail and it went through my shoe and into my foot. Good times. 300 dollars later, I'm hobbling around on crutches and trying not to cry too much. I'm hoping pandora will make me feel better. That and prescription pain killers. Probably some comics too. I have soooo many comics to catch up on. Missed a whole MONTH of comics man. Sucks.

So yeah. I'm gonna go pop some pills and relax with some music and such. I'll get some pics up some time before the end of the week, because I KNOW you're all waiting for them. ;D

Twice i had it. Twice

2011-06-15T00:10:00.001-07:00

Twice i had it. Twice i had to give it up. I'm hoping for a third shot. Maybe i won't have to give it up that time.

If i can't get it

2011-06-08T18:22:00.001-07:00

If i can't get it fixed tomorrow i'm calling charter.

No internet this weekend. Att

2011-06-04T12:02:00.001-07:00

No internet this weekend. Att thinks that people don't need to set anything up on saturdays. Boo to that.

I should have internet service

2011-06-03T20:21:00.001-07:00

I should have internet service when i get home from work tonight. Here's to hoping.

ROUND 1!

2011-05-25T17:25:00.000-07:00

Cleared zones and full car. Progress is being made. Not as much as I was hoping for though. :(

Pic limit of 5

2011-05-25T12:35:00.001-07:00

this all has to get into PACKED MODE.

PACKING AND MOVING!

2011-05-25T12:25:00.000-07:00

It sucks but it needs to get done. a friend suggested a picture dump. so here it is.

This is my car that needs to be cleaned out so that I can put stuff in it :(

DAAAAAANNNNNNNG

2011-05-18T22:30:00.000-07:00

I completely forgot about this thing. Soooo much going on in my head.

I'm moving in a week. Trying to write out the story for my comic. Working. Dealing with my plethora of issues. Good times.

I got a new CD and I'm playing the CRAP out of it. Well.....the CD is new to me. Owl City: Ocean Eyes. WOOOOOO! I ripped it to my comp so now I listen to it at home and in my car ALL THE TIME. Love it.

So yeah. That's the past week basically. My hands are healing nicely. A&D Ointment is very helpful in that department. Keeps the tissue from drying out and cracking, thus keeping it from getting injured further. WOO for being smart!

And now I should go to bed and sleep so that I can get up in the morning and finish getting my new place ready. YAY!

Me and and ax VS a tree

2011-05-12T00:14:00.000-07:00

The tree won the first round, but I'm not giving up. I'll be back for round two in a couple days. And this time......I've got GLOVES!

Why did I feel compelled to show this picture? Because I'm PROUD of these wounds. Hard work is GOOD for a man. And I felt really good, even though I wasn't really successful. Though we did get about a third of the way through the tree. Not too shabby.

I'm looking forward to my new place that I'm moving to. There's a lot of work there that needs to be done, and I'm gonna do a lot of it. It'll be good for me. Screens to install, carpet to replace, gardens to plant, plumbing to fix, etc. It'll be good times. I'll share my war stories here probably. :D

Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

2011-05-11T01:53:00.000-07:00

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

That poem is by Robert Frost. It's my favorite poem. Probably because of the memories attached to it.

I first learned about Robert Frost in my junior year of high school. My English teacher that year was amazing and taught me that thinking differently was a good thing that should be embraced. He encouraged my art and always REMINDED me to take off my hat. He never told me to do that. He had a joy for life that I haven't seen in anyone else ever again. He was truly the only reason I get a little sad when ever I think about my time in Idaho. I miss him and wish I could have spent more time with him. But on that same token, I'm IMMENSELY grateful for the time I did get to spend with him.

I think it's time that I memorized this poem again.

daaaaang

2011-05-06T02:36:00.000-07:00

so I missed two days. Oh well.

It's currently 2:30 AM and I'm sitting here eating ramen and eggs because I'm starving. And I'm also exhausted. Good times.

I have a lot starting up in my head currently. Working on the comic is the only thing that has ACTUALLY started, but my brain is where I do most of my living, so stuff in my head weighs pretty heavy on me. But since the comic is the only thing happening, let's talk about that.

I've determined (again) that I really need to invest in a tablet for my computer. It would not only save a lot of time, but my scanner doesn't work with my new computer anyway. So I'm currently saving up for that. (yes I'm ACTUALLY saving money)

Second, I've got a little drawing project I'm working on that should get my chops back up to where they were when I stopped updating the comic. It's still not gonna be amazing quality, but it won't be terrible either. This is gonna be a long project, so it'll be a while before it's complete.

In other news, I'M MOVING AGAIN! I'll be closer to work, and that will save me LOADS of money on gas. The money I save might go towards getting internet access, but at least I'll still be breaking even right? And I'll be closer to everything else in my life, so that'll be good. Should be happening by the end of the month. WOOT!

wowowowowowow

2011-05-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

I started doing some work on Jodee today. Turns out that I don't really like to draw Jodee. but I like to have here there. So.....yeah. Make of that what you will.

I should get back to doing some more work on her. But I needed to type some stuff here since I'm trying that whole "post every day" thing.

I had the day off today and it was a weird one. I basically sat at my desk all day. I've been on the verge of cabin fever most of the day, but haven't actually crossed that line. I feel like I should be going crazy, but I'm not. That's one of the main things that made this day weird.

So with that I go back to listening to music and drawing. Toodles.

FEEL the BUUUUUUURRRRRRRNNNNN

2011-05-02T02:35:00.000-07:00

Is it weird that it's only been three days and I already feel a bit burnt out with posting here? I dunno. Probably not, since I'm not really used to it. But I figure this is really good practice. If I can get used to just making myself write SOMETHING every day, then getting the comic pumped out should be easier in the long run, right? Right?

I dunno.

I feel like I'm just avoiding drawing right now. That's a bad thing. Drawing is just as important, if not MORE SO, than writing right now. So I'm gonna go draw something. Probably not as intense as I did last night, but it'll still be something. So I'm off.

I should be getting something set up soon so that I can start posting my drawings again. I'll keep you updated. :D

Two Mountain Dews, Paper, and a Pen

2011-05-01T04:26:00.001-07:00

Man I needed to be asleep four hours ago. Oh well. I'm getting some drawing done. Basic prelims. Getting back into it. Figuring out my shapes and whatnot. I have the basic shapes for the girls down again. It took some doing, but I got it. I figure I'll go back to drawing and skip sleep tonight. I have to get up in two hours anyway.

Just read something that we should all keep in mind. Not sure if I agree with EVERYTHING there, but it's still worth reading. It has a lot of good points. The main ones being: Live in the now, Stop caring about the opinions of others, and take care of yourself.

I downloaded Firefox 4 tonight. Using it right now to type this out. I think I like it. I definitely like the bigger window. The toolbars take up less space so there's more room to show the content. It might very well become my default browser soon.

Okay the interenets are distracting me too much. I gotta close this window. So I'll be back soon. I'm planning on posting everyday for the month of May. Let's see if that actually happens :D

Desk Update

2011-04-30T14:39:00.000-07:00

I got it clean. I'm rather proud of the work. I don't really have a way to have COMPLETELY dedicated space to the comic, but my keyboard easily gets out of the way, so it should work. I'll just get a folder to put the comics in so they stay clean and neat.

Now the task of keeping it this neat and clean begins. THATS the hard part.

Raspberry Beret

2011-04-30T02:46:00.000-07:00

So I figured I should add something since I opened this thing up.

I'm in debt and there's a lot of bills I'm not paying. This led to some rather heavy depression last week. My dad was an amazing help through that though. I'm very happy to have him in my life.

That bout gave me some inspiration though. I've started revving up the comic again. It'll take a while before I re-launch though. I want to do it right this time. That means:

Planned story
Buffer
Set schedule

I'm working on the first and third of those right now. Before I can have the comic on a set schedule I have to be on a set schedule. It's really hard for me to do, but if I could do it, I'd get everything done in the mornings. And when things get done in the mornings, the rest of the day is a lot less stressful. And once I've got myself on the schedule, it should be fairly simple to get the production of comics on a set schedule too. I need to figure out how to quickly get a comic done without burning myself out. And by the time I figure that out, the buffer should be built up. YAY for mulitasking. :D

And I really like what I have planned for the story. Some better character development, and better story development. Both of those are SORELY needed. I look at what I've done already and it makes me cringe. So hopefully I'll keep myself from cringing too much in the future.

I need to get myself some dedicated workspace for this. If I actually dedicate some desk space to be a "comic only" zone, I'd probably get a lot more done. Alrighty, I've decided. I shall start posting pictures here. Pictures to show progress.

That is my desk right now as I'm typing this. The next time I post it won't look like that.

And now it's time to sleep. And I'll get up in the morning to clean.

Story Time

2011-01-09T21:36:00.000-08:00

I have an idea for a story that I'm working on. it should be awesome. I'm hoping it's awesome.

Just thought I'd share that with pe0ple. :D

A Male Perspective

2011-01-03T01:44:00.000-08:00

[Four women see a new store opening up and decide to check it out. It's called "The Man Store" and once inside women get to choose a man or move on to the next floor and see what awaits them there.

They all enter the elevator to go up a floor because on the first floor the men are just plain old nice guys, with average incomes, and they have never been married.

On the second floor, a sign reads, "This floor has men who are somewhat tall, average in weight, and divorced. They have decent jobs, but don't own a home."

The women decide to go on to the third floor, thinking these guys are losers.

On the third floor, a sign reads, "This floor has men who are tall, a little overweight but in good shape, and divorced. They have nice jobs, and drive a BMW."

The women decide to go on to the fourth floor, thinking they don't want to settle.

On the fourth floor, a sign reads, "This floor has men who are tall, great shape, and make about $100k. They have a nice home, are divorced and pay child support, and drive a Porsche."

The women look at each other and think, "There's still one more floor, we should check it out because it just keeps getting better and better!!". And they all agree not to settle for the men on the fourth floor.

On the fifth floor, there is a final sign which reads, "This floor has no men on it at all. We gave you every opportunity to meet a man and find happiness, but you were never satisfied and always wanted something better. That man doesn't exist, thanks for playing."]

I found this tonight and it made me start thinking. At first it was the typical cynicism. "Ain't that the truth. Women are always like that." But then I caught myself. It's not really like that.

But that doesn't change the fact that it can SEEM like that. Now I realize that seeing the world in this light means that the dude with this outlook has some issues to get over. Usually himself. But there are things that women do that aid in some guys seeing the world like this. One of those things: laughing at him. Not the cute, flirty laughing that you use when making eyes across a room, and not laughing at some witty comment he makes. But laughing at HIM. I know what it feels like to be laughed at. It's not a nice feeling at all.

Now I realize that sometimes signals aren't sent or received correctly and that can account for some of it. Just try to remember that Men are people too. They're human same as you. They have all the same emotions you have. The insecurity, the nervousness, the "WTF am I doing". And ALWAYS REMEMBER: no one is perfect.

And while we're on the subject, if the guy approaches you and you have no interest, tell him. Just say, "sorry I'm not into you that way". It's just as awkward for both parties so just be honest right off the bat.

All I want for christmas is........

2010-12-26T01:43:00.000-08:00

so the title can be seen as being a bit late. And it is. But anyone that knows me knows I'm always the last one on the bus.

This year, I was pretty much on board with the whole "holiday spirit" thing. Well, more on board that I usually am. I think that focusing on God rather than my own lack of....whatever, is what put me in that spot. I even stayed in a generally good mood at work. With all the idiots. Man there were idiots.....BUT, I stayed mostly cheerful and glad to be around. I even said "merry christmas" to a couple people today and actually meant it. I've NEVER done that before. It was......weird for me.

But tonight, I kept hearing songs about being with someone at christmas time or wanting to be with someone. It kinda brought me down a bit in mood. Luckily, though, I didn't have any PEOPLE talk about that stuff. That would've made it worse. That's the main reason I got the itch to stay up and write a bit even though I'm exhausted.

I'm bugged that being single bugs me lately. On one hand, I feel like it shouldn't bug me, but on the other hand, it's a legitimate desire. So.....yeah. Bit of a loop de loop there. That's just part of life though isn't it? I dunno.

So yeah, I had a pretty good christmas. Lunch with dad and dinner with my sister. It was pretty nice, all things considered. And now I'm off to bed. Gotta sleep. really tired.

Movie Review 001 - TRON: Legacy

2010-12-23T00:11:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure where to start with this movie. Perhaps I should start with the anticipation. I've been looking forward to this sequel since I heard the first rumors about it back in early 2009. First title I saw for it was "TR2N". I liked the idea behind that title. But changing it to Tron:Legacy was a good decision for two reasons. First, you can actually say it. Second, it really makes sense for the story.

I was so excited for it the week it came out that I don't really have words for it. Even better, it came out the day after my birthday. What a birthday present, right? But then I bought my ticket. Almost instantly, I started having doubts. I didn't want my childhood ruined once again. COUGHepisode1COUGH What if it was terrible? What if the story didn't make any sense? What if the proper connections weren't made? Or, even worse, what if continuity was broken?

Thank God for previews. They alleviated some of this stress with some much needed laughter. Then the movie started.

I was impressed right away with how Disney redid their opening logo to look like it was scanning you and to be that neon outline. That was my hook. And I was in for the rest of the movie. Even though I had to pee through the whole thing, it was too good to leave. ALL my doubts were washed away. Continuity? Check. Proper character development? Check. Awesome special effects? Check. Witty references to new and old technology? Check.

And not only were all the proper elements there, but they were done WELL. Executed with great precision and accuracy to keep all the lore already in place intact. It covers all the happenings between the destruction of the Master Control Program and the creation of the new Grid. And it makes sense, the way they explain it.

There was really only one element in the movie that I wasn't too big a fan of. And I'll probably get a lot of slings and arrows sent my way for this, but I'm okay with that. That element was Quorra. She was a good character, but she seemed out of place. All of her interactions with Sam seemed really forced. And I wasn't a big fan of that.

BUT that one little thing doesn't make the movie bad. And you should go see it. See it in a theater. Don't wait for dvd or blu-ray.

Final Score:
94/100

Mind Dump 2010

2010-12-22T21:07:00.000-08:00

my last post was in July after Anime Expo. I don't think I did a very in depth post, and I'm not gonna go check right now to see how bad it was.

This post is for something else entirely. This post is to help me get back into mind dumping. For those of you that are unaware, a "mind dump" is when you just throw down all the thoughts running through your head without trying to organize them or make any sense out of them. Usually when I did this in the past, I ended up talking about the various females in my life for a big portion of the post. I may end up doing that again, but I'm gonna try not to. God knows I have a LOT running through my head about various women in my life.

My friends recently started picking their blogs back up. And I recently started having a lot of head issues. So maybe more mind dumps will help me out. That's what I'm hoping for anyway.

so I figured out one of my issues is caused by residual effects of activities I shouldn't be engaging in anyway. So support to NOT do that is probably something I should seek out. So I guess you can hit me up if you want to help with that. Or, ya know, just randomly send me texts with something like "Fix your head. Avoid THAT." I dunno.

Linkin Park. My favorite band. Their music speaks to me. Touches a piece of me that I didn't know was there until I discovered them. That piece of me that needs healing. I've tried giving it to God to heal, but.....I don't know if I ever actually have. And that tells me that I probably haven't. And that makes me sad.

Some times I feel bad that I don't really have the drive to do anything. Don't have the drive to exercise. Dont have the drive to read regularly. Don't have the drive to get up in the morning. Don't have the drive to keep myself out of trouble. It's one of the annoying things about me that I don't like. And I don't really know what to do about it. Oh sure, people tell me that I just gotta start doing stuff and then it'll turn into a habit. How long does it take for something to turn into a habit? about six weeks of doing it EVERY DAY. How do I get that far if I usually stop around week two? Really now. And I haven't met anyone that's willing to help me out through that period. It kind of sucks. I mean, even if I partnered up with someone as bad as me, I'm sure we wouldn't BOTH completely fail as long as we stick together with it.

I dunno. Just one of those things in life. Maybe I'm just lacking proper motivation. So what are some of the reasons that I should be doing this:
my health - if I sleep and eat decently, that's not really an issue
increased stamina - I have enough for the life that I live
look better - who am I trying to impress?

The main reason I don't do it is that disciplining myself isn't fun. Fun level is a major contributor to my views on things in life. Why is this? I'm still not entirely sure. BUT I do know that one thing has worked to motivate me in the past. And that was a focus on what God would want me to do. It kept me going long enough for a partial habit to form. So that's something I guess.

So that's it for now. I might do another one before the year ends. I might not. We'll see. LATERS.

Tech Blogs

2010-07-25T01:16:00.000-07:00

So I built myself a new computer about a month ago. It's pretty sweet. It's got blue LEDs and everything. :D

I buy all my computer parts at New Egg because they have the best return policies that I've seen. Occasionally I'll look at other sites and compare prices, but usually it's not worth the money saved to buy from them. If I was just gonna buy one part, then I probably would buy from, say, Tiger Direct, but usually I need more than one part at a time. And usually no one but New Egg has all of the parts I'm looking for. And it's a hassle to have multiple orders and multiple suppliers when you're trying to get a project going. Of course that philosophy goes out the window if the sale is really AWESOME.

But yeah, I kind of have a bias toward New Egg too. Kind of like I have a bias against Microsoft. They're both kind of baseless, but I can't help it much. But that's a different post.

So Specs for my new computer:
GIGABYTE GA-890XA-UD3 motherboard
AMD AthlonII X2 245 Regor 2.9 GHz processor
4GB GeIL Black Dragon 240-pin DDR3 SDRAM
Western Digital VelociRaptor 150GB SATA HD
2 Western Digital Caviar Black 640GB SATA HD (RAID 0)
Radeon HD 4770 GDDR5 PCIe 2.0 graphics card
LG Blu-Ray SATA Combo Drive
Windows 7 Ultimate Edition

All of that is neatly contained in:
APEVIA MX-PLEASURE-BK ATX Full Tower case with 500W power supply

So this thing can run everything I need it to run. Including a bunch of emulators, a bunch of games, and the screen capture programs needed to stream what's on my screen to justin.tv. So for my standards (which are admittedly low) this beast is totally awesome.

I know that this thing isn't anywhere near top of the line, but it has everything I could possibly need and it'll last me a really long time. And really, that's all that matters.

Interesting bit of trivia:
The processor was the cheapest component. :D

Pics coming soon.

I'm not gonna count

2010-07-21T23:54:00.000-07:00

It's been too long and I'm feeling the need to really start blogging again. Not sure if it because of my recent pitfall into depression or not. It probably is.

But this will not be like my blogs of the past where I simply whine and mull over my own thoughts. I am going to try and make this into something productive. I'm not sure how, though. I've seen lots of people do lots of different things, but none of them really fit me. Perhaps I will use this simply to psych myself up to get back into doing my comic. That story needs to be told, even if it's been told a thousand times before.

So I'm thinking that I'll leave this idea here in the open and see if anyone responds to it. And I'm thinking I'll go draw.

Sundays

2010-01-24T11:02:00.000-08:00

so life is crazy lately. I have my A+ tests coming up the next couple of days. I was studying last night and I slept through my alarm, thus making me late for pipeline. So I need to not let that happen again.

The nice thing, though, is that the series we're doing makes jumping in while it's happening really easy. There's just a video and some songs, both really easy to do as long as you know which video clip you need to run. This week's video was about faith. I missed most of it, but I caught the part where Dan Gerous jumped over a whale on his tricycle. I was pretty distracted by a dream I had right before I woke up. But it finished well. I wasn't too distracted to keep the show going. So the video is cued up for next service and there's one song left to launch. Good show so far.

The ends of six. This is the thought from my dream. The context from the dream is a bit weird but I feel like the concept is important. In the dream there were a bunch of people at a party and they each submitted a naked picture. On the back, people were supposed to write six things on one end of a spectrum and six things on the opposite end of that same spectrum. The dream didn't really specify what spectrum to use. Because they were naked pictures, I kind of assume that they were comments about how they looked, but that's not really important. So the Ends of Six. Six really awesome things and six things that we should work on or that we can improve. I dunno. It seems like something that I should remember.

You ever get lonely for

2009-09-16T22:48:00.001-07:00

You ever get lonely for no good reason? Its been happening to me a lot lately. I wish i had a bible here.

WOW

2009-09-09T02:50:00.000-07:00

So I am now living on my own away from the parental units for the very first time in my life. No one over my shoulder telling me what to do all the fricking time. It's rather nice. Of course it was all those years that drilled into me what I SHOULD do, so I pretty much stick to that.

So yeah, I have a utility in my name. It makes me feel rather weird when I sit and think about it. It's like I HAVE to grow up now. I don't have a choice anymore. And I really like that feeling. I don't really feel like I'm ready for it, but I know that I can do it if I just buckle down and do what I gotta do. So yeah.

I'll also just signed up for a relational development group. It's designed to help people really grow and deal with their issues. And that's something that I need to do really badly. I'm willing to bet tears will be shed in the process. One can hope anyway.

So yeah that's about it in life right now. No major thoughts on anything really. I'll check y'all later.

Have fun.

So I'll be switching schools.

2009-09-08T22:21:00.001-07:00

So I'll be switching schools. UOP Has been good for getting me started on school again but its time to start real school again.

I don't know how i'd

2009-09-06T03:37:00.001-07:00

I don't know how i'd handle my existential crisis without my relationship with god secured by my savior.

the quiet hum of fans

2009-08-31T04:31:00.000-07:00

So it's 4:30 am and I'm tired. I'm awake because I got home from work and got really uptight because I needed to complete a research paper and turn it in. I didn't need to turn it in for the grade. I needed to turn it in to keep myself from being dropped from the class.

I didn't get the paper done in time, so I didn't turn anything in, thus leading to my "auto-drop" from the course. So I don't know what's gonna happen with me on that front. And it's this uncertainty that is keeping me awake. I tried some reading: no luck with mental relaxation. Games: never really relax my mind. Talking with people: helps quite a bit. But no one's on at this time of night. So here I am posting a blog.

And I'm starting to get heavy eyes now as I keep yammering on about this particular subject. Which I guess is good, because it means that I should be able to go to sleep now if I try.

I've been spending a lot of my time looking for a place to live. I found one about a week ago and I'm slotted to move in on the 1st. It'll be a roomate situation and I'm wondering how it's gonna work out. We haven't entirely come up with a way to divide the rent. With one person sleeping in the living room, it'll be an uneven division of rent because of privacy issues.

cue tired rambling. YAY! blogging is doing what it's supposed to be doing. Of course this is why I don't attract nor keep readers. Because I usually talk about the same thing over and over or it's just random babble about being tired/stressed.

the feeling of defeat consumes me right now. And so I resign to my bed for sleep. maybe it'll put things in perspective?

I only get 160 characters

2009-07-28T12:11:00.001-07:00

I only get 160 characters when i use my phone though so i might have to start using shorthand so i can say more in less space.

I can Blog From my

2009-07-28T12:09:00.001-07:00

I can Blog From my phone so why don't i Blog more? The formatting sucks but i can still update people on things.

2009-06-09T00:30:00.000-07:00

so....it's been a while.

I finally got my own computer back up and running, so now I'm typing this with my ergo keyboard and listening to the hum of my familiar fans. it's kind of weird that this is comforting to me.

I've come to the realization that I'm not as emo as I was in the past and therefore have not as much need for an outlet such as this. It's good to keep around though, so don't go expecting for this little bit of the internet to dissappear. I do get moments where I feel the need to type something out and get it out of my head.

One of those moments is now....kind of. I've had so much history with being introverted because of lack of friends and/or lack of opportunities to go out with friends. But now that has changed and I am very much the "HEY! Let's go party!" type. I'm not good at getting the parties together, but I'm totally down for going to one. But then I still think to myself, "am I just over compensating? Am I still hiding who I really am?" The answer, of course, is that I don't really know. Something tells me that I'm not being who I'm supposed to be, but I'm not sure if that has anything to do with my extro/introvertedness. I still very much like to have my quiet reflective moments where I don't do anything but sit there and think about my life. Those moments don't happen as much as they used to though. I used to complain all the time about living life in my head and not in "the real world". Now it's almost like the opposite. I spend so much time out and about with people that I don't really ever have time to be alone and let my mind process through everything. Where is the balance? Why is it so hard for me to find? Even though I just had five straight days off of work, only one of them was truely restful. maybe I just need to learn to say no to free time activities so that I have time to sit and contemplate my life. I did learn how to say no so that I could get my homework done, now I just need to transfer that skill over to my "contemplation time".

Until next time, my friends, have fun.

tired

2009-05-30T23:39:00.000-07:00

I've been behind in my school work for the past week and a half, but no more. I am now fully caught up. YAY! Now to get my ass ahead so that I don't fall behind again.

I got a tooth pulled yesterday. My mouth feels soooo much better now. It's still tender in there, but it doesn't hurt like it did.

I don't know what to do with life right now. It feels like it's just swirling around blender style and I'm just in it being whipped around. I don't like it. not sure what to do though. any tips?

Throwback Shouldn't Be Thrown Back

2009-05-01T18:59:00.000-07:00

I just tried some Pepsi Throwback. I am so reminded of Crystal Pepsi that I re-lived my childhood while drinking it. After a few more sips, It wasn't so much like Crystal Pepsi but it was still very clean tasting and smelling. I can't use words to describe it. All I can do is beg that everyone that reads this goes out and buys it. It is amazing! And I don't use exclamation points lightly!

The Unanswered Question

2009-04-30T09:56:00.000-07:00

When my question was left unanswered, it left me completely unsure about my life. Without the answer to my question I was unable to settle on anything or make any important decisions. But slowly, ever so slowly, the answer to my question is being written on my heart by God. Thus my life is starting to come together a bit. But there is still this wound caused by the unanswered question that is preventing me from becoming the man I am meant to be.

So in my quest for manhood, I'm having many many ideas that would not only aid in my journey, but also the journey of every other man that is seeking and needs the answer to this question and every other question needed to be answered. If we can get together and really support and build each other up, I think that we could accomplish great things. And doing great things is the reason we're here.

working for the weekend

2009-04-25T23:59:00.001-07:00

so I have a job now. I'm working part time at walgreens. It's a fairly easy job that doesn't use too much of my brain power. This is good because it allows me to focus more of my brain power on getting my school work done, and that takes quite a bit of my brain power. I've said brain power quite a bit in the last few sentances.

I just watched some One Piece. It was amazing. It feels like it's been forever since I've watched some One Piece. Speaking of anime, I'll be the Merch Shift leader at AX this year. Isn't that spiffy? Hopefully I'll be good at it. I've never been a shift leader, but something tells me that it won't be too hard.

I'm so far behind on my final project for one of my classes. Hopefully I'll be able to get it done this next week though. My schedule is fairly free so I shouldn't have too much trouble doing it.

And now I'm tired of typing. So I'll check in with y'all later I guess.

Easter is...

2009-04-12T10:10:00.000-07:00

easteristhetimewhenwecelebrateourlord
easteristhedaywhenweshouldn'teverbebored
easteristheseasonwhereourjoyiscomplete
easteristhereasonwecanstayonourtwofeet

This is the holiday that we as christians should be looking forward to each and every year. If we don't see this as our most holy of holy-days, then we should check ourselves and evaluate where our views of ourselves, the world, and our God lie. When we fail to recognize that Jesus's ressurection is the single most signifigant event in our beliefs then we fail to see what has really been offered. So, if you haven't, sit back, take a moment, and think about what you would have done if Jesus had died and NOT risen again. Where would you be if there were no atonement to be had?

And for those of you that really know why we celebrate easter, remind those all around you that you're pumped because Jesus died for your sins and came back to prove the death has been defeated. WOOT!

I LOLd SOOO bad

2009-04-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

I just had to share this. You know this guy is looking at this video now and shaking his head wondering why he thought he was so cool. Either that or he still thinks it was awesome. I know if it were me, I'd still think it was awesome.

I don't have much

2009-03-31T23:59:00.000-07:00

I've started the heated search for a job this week. Funny thing about that: it corrosponds to the beginning of Script Frenzy, and my insane amount of homework I need to do. I figure juggling all that with church and family obligations is something I really need to practice. Pray for me please.

In other news, I am a shift supervisor for the merch dept. at Anime Expo this year. I think that I can do a good job of making sure that nobody works too hard. That is my goal with this new assignment. I'll let you know how it works out.

My Sanji look is coming together rather nicely. If I can just get someone to style my hair a bit, I'll have the look down perfectly. The question is, how can I get it done for free. I have a few people I can ask. I'll keep you posted on that too.

I haven't done a mind dump here lately. The main reason is, whenever I sign in to do it, my mind goes blank about all my issues. I dunno.

I mentioned to my friend today that I've been noticing a lot of really pretty girls lately and I asked him what he thought. He told me that I was probably either really horny or really desperate. I think he hit the nail on the head. So if you can pray for that for me too, that would be good. This is not an area I like to be in.

I have an indepenent contractor type thing going now. I had a call for it today actually, but my phone was dead so I missed it. Oh well. It was for something SUPER simple anyway. Microsoft Update stuffs. So yeah. I'm hoping that that starts picking up too, because it'll give me some real world experience with working with computers. Plus it can help fund my A+ certification. And if I get that, I'll be able to provide a lot more services. YAY!

And now I must sleep. Goodnight all.

My New favorite show

2009-03-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

http://www.mevio.com/shows/?sId=19439&mId=5679859

I will be watching this show as much as possible. IF I don't forget about it.

no dice

2009-03-20T16:29:00.000-07:00

So, I've been back from michigan for a week and I haven't put up the "BIG POST" about the whole thing yet. But now as I sit here, I can't think of what to write for a "BIG POST". So I sit and stare at the screen with nothing too big coming to mind that I haven't already shared. So here is the cliff notes of the whole thing as I remember:

I stay up friday night so that I don't miss my 6am flight. After four planes, I finally land in Flint, MI. It's cold and raining. woot! We don't do much that day because of timing issues and the weather so we chill a bit and have dinner. The next day, bright and early we go get the insulation and start putting it in. It's a big mess and if we didn't have the face masks, we'd have inhaled a lot of paper. That wouldn't have been good for us. We had a lot of trouble figuring out how to get the blower for the insulation to work properly, but once we did, the work went a lot faster. I just wish we'd have known what to do the first day we were working on it. So then after we got that done we were done for the day. The next big project was cleaning up the big mess that the insulation caused. That was fun. IN the way that riding a bike with flat tires is fun. Then we replaced the fireplace. It looked way better when we were done. And that was one of the last projects we did while we were up there, because we had to get on the road by then so that dad could be home in time to go to work on monday. Thus, our road trip began. And now I must go. So I'll be back tomorrow with the rest of the story. :D

The Cult of Done

2009-03-19T12:59:00.000-07:00

http://www.brepettis.com/blog/2009/3/3/the-cult-of-done-manifesto.html

This is amazing. This is now my philosophy for all my projects.

Flagstaff

2009-03-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

We pulled into Flagstaff, AZ about an hour ago. We have a pretty nice room with internet so I can do my homework. The bed looks soooo comfortable right now.

We left Murfreesboro about 35 hours ago. We were able to make pretty good time because we decided to drive through the night so we took turns napping and driving. We're both really tired now, but it was worth it to make it this far this fast.

We went through Arkansas, Oklahoma,Texas (where we stopped and saw the Cadillac Ranch), and New Mexico. Good times. Such a drastic change of scenery as we moved from state to state. So many beautiful things out in nature. Proof positive of God's ultimate artistry. Little purple flowers, big red flowers, gorgeous forest, snow covered hills, rainbows, vivid green clovers, The list can go on and on. Get out into nature and SEE it. Experience it. It's worth the gas. Trust me.

This trip has been good. We've had some really good bonding time together and I'm learning quite a bit about my dad. Sometimes it seems like a bit too much information, but it's good I think.

I've been lacking a bit in the prayer and reading department on the trip and I think that's part of the reason for my tiredness. I'm jumping back on that tonight though. I've got my bible out and my other book out and I'll be starting in on those as soon as I'm done here.

So I'll get back to y'all later. buh bye.

So We're in santa rosa

2009-03-14T08:36:00.001-07:00

So We're in santa rosa new mexico right now. Stopped and saw the Cadillac ranch. Pics of that soon.

POST!

2009-03-12T19:37:00.000-07:00

I'm so tired so I'm trying to be quick, but at the same time, thorogh (I can't spell good right now).

I have left michigan. We left this morning and drove for 17.5 hours. We are now in Merfreesboro, TN. Not sure I spelled the town name right, but that's okay. We crashing with some friends that my dad made while he lived here in Tennessee. They have a highspeed connection. It's sooo nice. I can appreciate my "slow" connections at home now because they are still WAY faster than dial-up. But of course, dial-up is better than "no up". That's something good to keep in mind.

I'm slightly constipated due to increased cheese consumption and decreased water intake, but I think it's fixing itself since I started drinking a lot more water today. I had to pee a lot today. I'm taking that as a good sign.

My tooth has been in moderate to severe pain over the past three days or so. I know I need to get to the dentist about it, but I think part of my issue right now is the toothpaste I'm using. I have a strog feeling that it's making the tooth more sensitive. But I've decided to just get it taken care of when I get back. It'll put me more in debt, but I think it's something that I really need to do.

I'm almos done with my book that I'm reading. I'll be passing it on to my dad when I'm done. it's really been helping me a lot in my quest to become a man. I'm thinking that I'll really be in much better shape when I'm done with it and really focusing on my development. I need to update my book list over there on the side, but I'm WAY too tired to do that tonight. It'll probably sit there out of date for a while longer yet.

And I'm really tired so I think it's time for bed. Another early morning to get on the road. So good night all.

2009-03-12T07:27:00.001-07:00

We're in farm country. Here's a picture for you guys. Not exciting to look at i know but just keep in mind that this is where our wheat comes from and it allways looks like this. So yeah. Thats it for now. Enjoy.

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I just took a shower

2009-03-11T19:18:00.001-07:00

I just took a shower using hand soap. Good times. I'm so tired. I'm hoping to sleep well tonight.

2009-03-11T13:10:00.000-07:00

This one's a bit better.

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2009-03-11T13:08:00.001-07:00

Here's a picture of trouble. It was the best i could do. She didn't want to stand still.

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It's snowing again today. Today

2009-03-11T06:20:00.001-07:00

It's snowing again today. Today is laundry day. We'll be heading south to tennessee tomorrow. Should be an adventure.

Day...2.5

2009-03-09T18:05:00.000-07:00

So we finished insulating the attic today. It was a much bigger project than we anticipated. So, when we were done, we took the rest of the day off and went to the Loggers Memorial. It was a pretty sweet park complete with: a huge statue, a log jam, and a food raft. Pretty awesome.

And now I'm back at my dad's friend's dial-up computer to give you all this brief little update. There's a meeting that my dad has to go to on wednesday, so we'll either be leaving late wednesday or early thursday. He wants to be in tennessee by thursday night. I'm thinking we can do it if we get up early enough on thursday.

We should be able to use the laptop in the hotel with WiFi then. I'll be more glad with my homework time then.

So yeah, I better go eat before they give it to the dog. I'll be back tomorrow. :D

2009-03-09T09:09:00.000-07:00

This one's for you daniel. :)

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Dial Up sucks

2009-03-08T17:51:00.000-07:00

I'm in michigan now. YAY! But the only internet I have access to uses dial-up. It's taken me over ten minutes to upload one of my final projects for school. I'm really hoping that my connection to the school site doesn't time out before it finishes the upload.

how long does 1MB usually take to upload on dial-up. Anybody know?

My trip up here was rather annoying, but that's okay. I had to get on four planes. I've never been up and down so much in my life. I think I travelled more vertically than I did horizontally. I dunno. I haven't done the math. I've been too tired. Someone do the math for me.

Today has been filled with the tasks required for insulating the attic. It's been a pain in the butt. And we're not done. And we have to finish tonight. yay. It's okay though. When it's done, we'll never have to do it again. And now I'm going to leave. Maybe closing blogger will help it load faster. Maybe.

2009-03-07T13:34:00.001-08:00

10.25 i call that extortion

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So i'm in kansas city

2009-03-07T11:48:00.000-08:00

So i'm in kansas city and i'm really hungry. But this airport doesn't have a place where i can get food. And i'm really tired.

Fun times

2009-03-06T16:32:00.001-08:00

I need to be at the airport in twelve hours. I'm leaving for michigan and won't be back anywhere for a couple weeks. So, check here for daily posts while I'm on my trip. And since I figured out how to send pictures expect some pictures every so often too. Also, if you haven't done so already and are interested, I am now on Twitter at twitter.com/samwall84
so follow me if you like because I'll be making random observations while I'm on my trip and that's the best place to put those.

I don't think I'll be sleeping tonight because I'd probably miss my plane if I did, so I figure I'll just sleep on the plane. It should work. If it doesn't, I'll let you all know. And now I've got to get back to finishing my final projects so that I can turn them in tonight before I leave.

Sweetness

2009-03-03T23:10:00.000-08:00

it's not the best picture, but it shows me that it's possible. Expect pictures during my trip to michigan now. :D

2009-03-03T21:54:00.001-08:00

This is a test.

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internet and such

2009-03-03T00:36:00.000-08:00

I have two big project due this week. I don't want to do either of them, but I need to if I want to pass my classes.

The first project:
I have to make a powerpoint presentation convincing an imaginary committee to use my idea in a hypothetical situation. It's rather lame to me because there isn't any information that I can really use. I have to make up stuff. But all y ideas are down on paper now so all I have left is to actually make the presentation. I'm hoping I can do it in under five hours.

The second project:
I have to make a "survival guide" for surviving online classes and life in general. This project isn't as annoying because I'm SUPPOSED to make it my way and use my preferences and all that. So it just becomes a matter of writing down all my thoughts on the issue. And that's all I'll have to do. I don't have to go find stupid graphs or images to put in. I can just make it all text. So much easier that way.

But that's what I'll be doing this week for the most part. YAY!

First Dates

2009-02-25T23:32:00.001-08:00

It's on my mind and I gotta get it out. I'll be going out with someone next week and I'm having trouble with deciding what to do. I've already decided that dinner and a movie is out because I really don't want our time together to be spent watching a screen. Dinner is a really good idea, but where? A) I'm really low on money and B) I need it to not be Denny's.

Then what? Are we just gonna sit at a restaurant all night? Probably not. What should we do? I've had the suggestion of MiniGolf. Is that really a good idea? I dunno. It would help if I knew her a bit better, I know. I guess that kind of makes it fun though. I do know that I want to figure it out.

I guess at this point all I can do is wait for her to finish up her finals this week then we can hash it all out together. I just really don't want to screw this up. YAY for my worrying brain. Any suggestions are welcome though. And now, time to sleep and turn the worry off.

brain death imminent

2009-02-17T21:25:00.000-08:00

So, I'm trying really hard to learn a lot of different things right now. Well, not really learn a lot of things, but I'm definitely working on a lot of things in my brain. I'm stressing through school, I'm actually trying to figure out how to install and run linux. I'm constantly debating about how to spend my school loan money, because there are a lot of things I want and a lot of things I need. I'm thinking now, as I'm typing this, that if I wrote out a list of what I need vs what I want to make my life easier, it would ease a lot of the tension in my head. YAY!

NEED:
spare computer running Linux
WANT:
Multiple computers for practicing with servers and networks

NEED:
LCD monitor(s) to ease the eye strain of staring at a computer all day
WANT:
Multi screen setups so I can have all my application windows spread out on the screen

NEED:
to focus on growing with God
WANT:
to just live life

So yeah. That's a bout where I am.

And I've just realized that some of my wants are provided already. Isn't God great?

This tool is amazing

2009-02-07T22:07:00.000-08:00

	238

9

lab.drwicked.com

If you haven't heard of it, it's called Write or Die. It's the best thing ever to help you just write without caring what you say. It really makes you get ideas out of your head. Go check it out.

AAAARRRRRRGH!

2009-02-03T23:46:00.000-08:00

my computer gots a virus. I don't know how to get rid of it. I'm thinking it stole a bunch of my personal information. Luckily my computer had a wired internet connection so I was able to disconnect it. It won't be able to do any more damage to my life outside of the computer now. I clicked one bad link and BOOM!

Oh well. Things will work out. I can still connect to get my homework done and turned in. And I can still do email and communicate with the world. But I can't do anything too major right now. No downloads, no uploads, no big projects that use space on the harddrive.

so yeah. That and I need a job. YAY!

Growing Up

2009-02-02T16:41:00.000-08:00

I'm at a point where I need to seize initiation. I'm thinking that it's out there in the grand canyon. I'll be setting up an interview with a restaurant out there and I'm hoping that I get it and that it's what I need. I'm praying for a situation that will require me to grow but will also HELP me grow. Because God knows I need all the help I can get.

So I guess I'm asking for prayer in this from everyone that reads it.

Isaiah 26:3

2009-01-28T00:25:00.000-08:00

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you."

That's awesome isn't it? I love that. I needed to hear that today. It's just another reminder to me that not only is God looking out for my needs, but He's there as the ultimate prize. That's what I got out of it anyway. So those are my quick thoughts. Thanks for reading. :D

I'm testing out sending a

2009-01-26T23:16:00.001-08:00

I'm testing out sending a Blog in from my phone. Isn't that Spiffy?

Let's have A Adventure!

2009-01-26T21:51:00.000-08:00

I've figured out that I'm gonna need to go find some adventure in order to grow up some more. I need to get away from "the nest". So, come friday, I'll be applying for a job that will provide just that. So if you would like to keep that in prayer for me, that would be awesome.

I've been reading a book lately(that reminds me that I need to update my book list) and this book is about becoming a man. It's written by a man, for men. It's pretty awesome. Anyhoo, I'm reading this book and it's really speaking to me. It's speaking to the boy inside that needs healing and growth. Or I should probably say, it's God speaking to me through the book.

So there's that, and I'm drawing again. Little by little, I'm drawing again. I'll be posting something up when I have something other than face sketches. I have a crazy plan to get the Everyday Sam story done by the end of the year. It's possible if I start working my butt off to do it. So yeah, I'm working on that. And when that one is over, I have a new story. And this one is even better than Everyday Sam, I think. It's definitely more complex in how I need to put it together. Plus I'm most likely going to be doing it with a partner so that the art doesn't suck. So we'll see where that one goes. YAY!

And now I'm off to doodle some more and keep up my chops. I know I can really get better if I just DRAW.

searching....

2009-01-19T18:33:00.000-08:00

for another job. I need another job because this one I'm at is.......killing me. I die a little every time I have to go in there. I've tried to just grin and bear it, but that's usually when the task masters come with their whips. I don't respond well to whips. In fact, I almost punched my boss in the face the other day. Luckily I've developed some self control over the years.

I also started school a couple weeks ago. It's going pretty good. I've stayed on track with all of my assignments so far. YAY! Taking it one day at a time is really helping me. Plus I usually get myself a couple days or work done in one day. I figure I may as well since I have the time for it. And next March, I'll have my Associate of the Arts degree in Information Technology. Hopefully I'll be able to get a much better job then.

I got a gig building some computers for a guy. I was pretty stoked about that. I should be getting the check this week to buy the materials and start building them. And landing this gig gave me the idea that I could totally be a custom computer builder for people in this area. It's a service that no one offers. So I figure, putting an ad out there won't hurt my chances. And I didn't have to pay for the ad so......yeah.

And....that's life for right now.

Get down on it

2009-01-01T12:11:00.000-08:00

So, I'm in california packing up my room. I don't have much time to type.

I should be packing my room up but I keep getting distracted by the plans I have made for today. I don't know why but I keep getting nervous. YAY! I haven't eaten anyting yet today and I'm hungry, but my stomach tells me not to eat every time I'm thinking about it. It's all knotted up. Boo to that.

I've been listening to good music today while I"m packing but the play list I have on is full of slow, slightly depressing music and I think that's why I'm in this funk. I'm gonna go put on some upbeat stuffs as soon as I post this. And that would be now. YAY!

I'll talk at yall later.

what to do....

2008-12-21T18:50:00.000-08:00

you know when you know what you should do but you don't want to do it because you'll have to do something that's really uncomfortable and possibly leading to a very tense home life?

birfday

2008-12-18T21:56:00.000-08:00

I am now 24 years old. That happened on Tuesday. Next year I will be a quarter century old. YAY?

I look at that number and it's weird to me for some reason. I can't quite place it. I have to figure out life again. Well, I know what to do with life. I'm pretty sure at least. I've just lost direction and I'm sort of on the course of getting it back. I'm just at a weird place in life right now I think. I have a bunch of stuff that I have to do and I don't want to do it. But if I don't do it, then I may as well curl up and die. But even that isn't really an option because if I do that then all my loved ones will be screwed and stuck with everything that I'd leave behind. BAH!

I'm gonna go do something semi constructive. If I stay here I think that I'll end up all mopey and I don't want that.

100

2008-11-22T03:10:00.001-08:00

this is post number 100 on this blog of mine. too bad I've got nothing good to put here, eh? Oh well. I've been uber busy trying to get my 50k words done for nanowrimo along with frustrations at work and helping my mom do some intensive cleaning here in the AZ. I'm at 16k right now. I need to get 20k more tomorrow if I want a chance at finishing up this thing. So, here's to hoping. I'm going to sleep now. Maybe I'll get up in the morning at write some more. I should.

I'm crazy

2008-11-06T01:39:00.000-08:00

So this month is National Novel Writing Month. I signed up for it and I'm writing. I have to write 2000 words a day in order to get to 50,000 words by the 30th. Why am I doing this to myself? I dunno. But I feel the need to for some reason. I have 2343 words as of this post. I'm thinking that I'm gonna start posting a blog daily so that I can let you all know how many words I've got so far.

In other news, I applied to volunteer at the BGCA in kingman yesterday. There's lots of stuff I could do there. The only thing we have to do is decide what. So....yeah. They said it takes about a week to process the application and do the background check and all that. So we'll see in a week what happens. YAY!

And now, I need to either sleep or write. So yeah. Laters.

News

2008-11-04T01:27:00.000-08:00

so, I'm cut to four day work weeks for the holidays. I don't really mind so much though. The extra day off will help me stay healthy. YAY!

Also, I have my test pilot episode up. It's not even the true Pilot episode yet. Watch it here and let me know what you think. It'd be better if I had a tripod for the camera. I should be able to get one with my next check though. Here's to hoping.

Next, I haven't gotten much drawing done this past week because of two reasons. I haven't been able to figure out what to put in the last couple panels of the latest comic that I'm drawing. I just figured it out tonight so I'll draw it up as soon as I post this. The second reason is I've started working on the computer end of things. The next comic to be uploaded is almost ready for the words to be put on. I had to learn a lot of new stuff, but it turned out pretty good I think.

I haven't checked out the Boys and Girls club yet, but I have tomorrow off so I figure I'll go in and see what happens. I've got cousins coming in, but I should have time to get over there.

And lastly, some fun stuff. I ran into this tonight. Sooo great. Please enjoy it at least half as much as I did.

See more funny videos at Funny or Die

YAY!

UPDATES

2008-10-28T02:22:00.000-07:00

Okay. I've been working on figuring out stuff in GIMP for the past eight or so hours. I've made a lot of progress but there's still a long way to go. My right arm hurts from all the precision clicking. :D And I'm keeping up on most of my drawing. so YAY for that too. And there's a new piece over at my DA too. So head over there if you're interested.

I'm thinking that my best bet for the whole "helping out" thing is at the BGCA. And if that's not a good place, I'm sure they'd know where I'd be best. So I'll start there and see what happens.

So, to list them....

Comic/Drawing

Volunteer

Grandpa

Job

It's not a long list. But they're all pretty involved. Hopefully it won't make me too busy. But I need to be busier than I already am. It's a fine line that I have to find. So let's hope and pray that I can. :D

I made an apple pie the other day. I'm hoping to make some more this week. Because the potluck is this sunday. And I'll feel better about taking the food if I have something to offer.

Okay, I gotta sleep. I'll talk at y'all later.

"I can help these people!"

2008-10-23T00:56:00.000-07:00

I think that's why I like Stargate so much. That line. And it's something that I say to myself quite often. I don't know how, but I know I can help people.

I always seem to be slammed when this topic comes up. I'd say it averages about once every three or four weeks. I hear something that makes me start thinking about things that are wrong in the world, then I stumble on two or three different things that fit in that category. And to illustrate what I mean, I'll give you tonight's story.

I turn on my iTunes and launch one of my podcast subscriptions. It's a sermon given by Pastor Matt Brown from my home church, Sandals. In this sermon, Matt is discussing what we as christians should be doing with the issue of abortion in the US. As I'm listening, I start thinking about what I could offer in different positions/situations. Helping the mother, taking care of the baby, encouraging life, and all that. So yeah. Then a few minutes after that, as I'm going through my blog roll, I notice some links in Lori Jo's latest entry. So I go to the links. BAM and BAM. Two HUGE issues that I've always felt very strongly about. I almost started crying. How CAN I help? I can't make any donations cuz my budget is tighter than spandex on a fat guy. I signed up for the news letter at Project Nightlight, but it looks like most of what they do is in LA. So if that's the case, then volunteering is out. So I dunno. I should definitely be looking for local things though.

So there it is. Just thought I'd share.

giraffetopus

2008-10-22T02:03:00.000-07:00

I do need to draw that. I keep forgetting. I'd do it now but it's late and I need to sleep. Keep reminding me Tom.

I have a new piece up at my devART. Link on the side over there <---. Man, I can't decide if I should file a formal complaint or not. As christians we're supposed to forgive and all that, but at the same time, his behavior get worse and worse. I had ultra violent thoughts about him at work on Saturday because of how he was acting. So yeah.

I'm gonna start scanning in my pencils soon and getting them all ready for the site. I'm not uploading them yet though. I have to test some things out first.

Here's some fun for y'all.

YAY!

2008-10-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

So I did a picture of Benny. I like Benny. He's just crazy enough to like but not so crazy that you should be scared. So yeah. I finished up another comic tonight. I think I'll start uploading as soon as I get this little arc done. We'll see. I haven't decided if I'm going to ink or not though. I don't really want to ink, but I don't know how to scan in my pencils dark enough to not look weird with the dark word bubbles on them. If anyone want's to give me some pointers on GIMP or can point me to some REALLY GOOD online tutorials, I'd be inclined to try and repay you with something. I dunno what though. I could draw you something I suppose. I dunno. Or maybe you just want to be nice :D

Anyhoo, they cut my hours at work because we're slow. But after they cut my hours, they add onto my list of closing things to do. That doesn't make much sense to me. Oh well. I got it done tonight so I shouldn't have too much trouble doing it again. And I shouldn't have too much difficulty cleaning the ceiling tomorrow. We'll see about that too.

I've been feeling bitter about things at work lately. I know I shouldn't be getting as upset as I have been lately. It's starting to bother me. So maybe some prayer for that would help. and that's another thing. I haven't been reading and praying nearly as much as I should be. So yeah..........

I know how to interact with grandpa now though. That's an upside in life right now. If I assist him in little tinkering things, he opens up a bit more and we actually get close to conversation. So if that could happen a bit more, that would be neat-o.

And that's life right now. I'm gonna go read some. Laters!

quickie

2008-10-13T22:45:00.001-07:00

okay, I don't feel well but I had to put this up. I'm rather proud of it. It's long and don't let the kiddies watch it. A few words slipped.

They're members of the human race

2008-10-12T02:33:00.000-07:00

I ran into this and I just had to share it. It's made sort of as a joke, but I like what it has to say. It's a good reminder that we're all people. We're more that what we do for a living. So just keep that in mind next time you're order is wrong or it takes a while to get something done. We're all people and we all should be treated as such. :D

ART!

2008-10-08T01:53:00.000-07:00

So I have something new in my sidebar. I was drawing and as I was drawing, I remembered that I opened up a DeviantArt account forever ago. So I uploaded some of the new stuff there and now there's a link to it. I'll change the image over there occasionally but maybe not as often as I upload new stuff. And as I said over on DA, I plan on putting something new up there at least once a week. So check that out every now and then. There will be new stuff up over there before I get to uploading any more comics.

So I was planning on blogging yesterday, but I got distracted. I ran into that last week while reading about the adventures of Greg. And then I was gonna blog tonight but then I got distracted by all the deviants. But when I finished uploading, I figured I should share with you guys since you're helping me keep up on it. So here you go. Comments are always appreciated on art. :D

It's bed time

2008-10-02T02:17:00.000-07:00

I need to get in bed but I also need to put something here before I do.

I penciled my third page since I started again. The other two I split over a couple days to keep myself from burning out, but this one just sort of fell together. I like it when that happens.

Work was weird today. It seemed like everyone else was stressing and busy busy busy and I was just on cruise control. I dunno. It was weird to me. I scraped my knuckle on the griddle. It hurt. A lot. And now I have a blister. But other than that my day was pretty alright.

I have to say thanks to Anita for kicking me in the butt to draw today. I'm glad she did.

And now I'm off to bed. Gotta be at work in 10 hours and I like to sleep for about 8. Toodles!

Jesus Is My Friend

2008-09-30T02:29:00.000-07:00

I just had to copy Justin on this one. This song(and video) is too great not to share. As I'm typing this I'm listening to it for the third time. Sooooooo great.

So yeah. I just had to spread that the little bit that I can. Wow. I love that song. I need to figure out how to rip it off the video so I can put it

on my iTunes. Or something. I dunno. It's time for bed. I'll talk at y'all laters.

BLOG!

2008-09-29T00:20:00.001-07:00

so I'm writing this because I feel that I have to. how weird is that? Not that I don't like doing this. I guess part of it is that I actually feel like I slowly making my way into the blogging community. It's strange to me.

so anyhoo, first things first, there was a comment from someone and I don't know who and they want me to post a link. I don't know what they want me to post a link to. So, whoever you are, comment me again and tell me what link you want. I'll do it if I can.

I'm slowly building a stack of drawings. I got sick so there where a couple days I didn't do any drawing, but I am drawing mostly every day. I finished up another comic tonight. I wish I had some editing software. I could get some I suppose. But I'm just gonna focus on getting drawing done for now. Once I have that turned into a habit I'll look into getting something to actually finish the comics for posting. I did figure something out this week that's been bugging me for months though. I think you guy's will like her. I know I like her. She's the quiet type that just needs some friends. YAY!

Now, I need insurance for my truck. And I keep forgetting to call and get estimates. HEY! I just remembered all those websites. Wow. I can't believe it didn't occur to me sooner. Of course, in my defense, I've been sick. Alrighty, I'll go check those out here soon.

So, Life is good some what out here in the AZ. I miss Cali and people laugh at me for it, but what ever. I'll be back soon enough.

And now I'm tired and must sleep. And must shop for insurance. BOO. g'night ever'body!

woot!

2008-09-24T02:01:00.000-07:00

so as I was drawing tonight, I finally figured out what she looks like. Of course, I've forgotten her name, but that'll come to me again when I need it. I don't think I'll post pics here though. I don't like doing spoilers like that. You'll just have to wait until she comes into the story. Should be soonish though so don't worry too much.

now,I have a lot of interests with online things. I started reading webcomics long before I even knew what a blog was. The idea of having my own comic on the web intrigued me more than anything else I'd ever experienced. This was forming in my head around the time I started my first blog back in the day on AOL dial up. A few months of blogging and my idea formed in my head. It was inspired by a plethora of webcomics and is sort of an amalgam of all of them that I was reading at the time.

I started drawing as soon as I figured out how I wanted all the characters introduced. I always think it's fun that the initial idea sprang forth from a drawing of Tina. Although she wasn't Tina then. She was just the Laughing Girl. So I started drawing but had no way to get the paper into digital format for posting online. Oh well. I just kept drawing. And now we're here. I've gone through a lot of ups and downs. Long periods of not posting. And thats no way to build readership. So this next year that is my resolution. Two comics a week. If y'all read this blog, then I'm hoping you also read my comic and yell at me when I don't update in a timely fashion.

I'm hoping to start updating again before the year is out mainly so that I can develop a solid schedule to follow through next year. Plus I want to see all the characters become who they're meant to be. For those of you who've never experienced it, it's one of the most amazing things. When you start a story, the characters do everything that you want them to do. But as the story progresses, they turn into their own beings. You no longer dictate what they do, but who they are dictates what happens when they're involved in certain scenarios. Anyhoo, I've blathered enough about that. I'll definitely be posting an announcement when the next comic page is up.

And now I'm off. have fun every body.

wowwee

2008-09-21T02:33:00.000-07:00

So I was about to go to bed but then I noticed that my download is nearly complete so I decided to to stay up a bit and let it finish. "how shall I pass that time?" The answer: BLOG!

It's been a while since I'd posted anything and I had nothing to work with coming in. but then I noticed my two new comments. YAY! someone loves me!

One of them said I should be the world's fattest man. Not a goal of mine but still funny so yeah...

The other one told me to find what I do best and be famous for that. Now that's something I can do. I'm good at lots of things, but what do I do best? I don't know. It's hard to pay attention to myself when I'm actually doing stuff, and when I'm done and have time to contemplate, I usually don't know what I've done best that day. So this might take some help from other peeps. But I'm all down for finding this out.

On another note, I have drawing supplies now. That means I can draw. And that also means I can work on the comic. And I sort of started that up again tonight. I didn't start drawing pages for the actual comic but I worked on getting my "drawing hand" back. I don't know when I'll be updating. I can scan the images but I have no editing software yet and I don't know if I'll be able to get any. I could always download GIMP again I guess. Anyhoo, that's comic stuff. OH! And I'm trying to develop a drawing habit. I need to draw every day if I'm ever going to get around to the end of the story in the comic. So this is a call out to everyone that knows me. Keep on my butt please. Contact me any way you know how and ask if I'm drawing, yell at me for not drawing, etc. This will help me out a lot. It really will.

And now some link love. Whittaker Woman was kind enough to send me that bit'o'help advice and kindly requested a bit'o'love. So she is now LINKED there on the left. Go check her out. Cute kids abound. ;)

man oh man

2008-09-05T00:26:00.000-07:00

I've had thoughts the last couple days about starting something and becoming famous for it. I'm not entirely sure why but it's been happening. Just a minor thing on my mind though. I don't have any good ideas anyway. Besides, most people make it big just by doing what they do. What do I do? I read, cook, watch you tube. The middle one gives me options of either having a famous restaurant or having a show on Food Network. I might have a popular comic if I ever get back to it, but that is unlikely from where I'm standing.

And now I switch to depressing thoughts of me being wishy-washy and never finishing anything. but I'll try not to let that happen too much. I can't change the past and the future is undetermined but the present is where I can focus and get stuff done. So I'll just take things as they come and hopefully all the long term commitments I make I'll be able to follow through on.

work

2008-08-22T10:38:00.000-07:00

I started my new job on tuesday. I am now a buffet cook at the Flying J. I'm cooking! WOOT! It's aggravating sometimes, but what job isn't? The people are cool and I know that I'm there for a reason. So, I'm working eight hours straight and then some. I should be able to get it down to JUST eight hours though here in the next week. Once I get my pattern down for breaking down the buffet.

Grandpa's doing okay. He's got hernia surgery coming up here in a few weeks. They don't have a specific date set yet though. And my mom and step dad came out to visit this weekend so that's pretty cool. My mom is gonna help me organize some cupboards. YAY!

I'm still reading alot. I'll be finishing up Don't Waste Your Life this week and I'm about 2/3 through the Psalms. Next up on my list is The Great Divorce. And speaking of, I need to update my book list over there on the left. So I'm gonna go do that now and then do some reading. YAY! I'll talk at y'all later.

Kingman 03

2008-08-01T01:06:00.000-07:00

So I've signed myself up with a temp agency. That means that I should be getting SOMETHING in the next week or so. We'll see if that actually happens. Grandpa's fine, I'm fine, the dog's fine. And fine is really the only way to describe us. None of us are outstanding but none of us are really crappy either. We're just........okay.

I started thinking today about why I came out here. I was in the back room falling into a funk and I started thinking to myself, "Do I really have a good, legitimate reason to be out here?" I started going over everything that I had told myself and everything that I had told others.
I'm helping my grandpa out.
I'm getting away from distractions to really get close to God.
I can get a job easier.
The change of pace will help me get a better grip on life.
I'll find a mentor in my grandpa.
And others that I know I had that I don't remember right now.
Are any of these true? Am I doing any of these things out here? Right now, no. Of course this is only the first month, right? It'll get better right? These things will start happening, right? I don't know. And no one else on earth knows either. God only knows what's gonna happen in my life.

But there is one thing that I know for sure. One good reason for me to be out here. It's good that I'm away from that person. If I wasn't, I don't know how well I'd be doing right now. I'd probably be doing a LOT worse. So it's good even though it sucks. Kind of like doing situps. Or running the mile. Or something like that. So I at least have this sort of mental trainging happening. WOOT.

I'm having to re-learn a lot of stuff out here. Stuff like, trusting God and His provision. Trusting His plan. So we'll see how that goes too. I've gotta go read so I'll see y'all later.

Kingman II

2008-07-16T20:21:00.000-07:00

So a lot has happened and nothing has happened since last week.

I've driven all around this town and only one place is willing to give me an interview. I'm going in tomorrow to schedule it. Perhaps I'll get interviewed tomorrow. That would be cool.

I've a friend I've been talking to a lot this past week. It's been nice and it's really helping me to stretch and grow. I'm hoping the trend continues. I have a long way to go and not much time to get there.

I'm reading a lot. My bible and a lot of christian books. They're all opening my eyes to things. So I'll be sticking with that while I'm out here.

My grandpa's doing pretty good. I'm thinking that he's really glad that I'm out here. He's got someone to talk to when he wants to talk. He doesn't talk often, but when he does he really needs to. So I'm the listening ear mostly. Which I'm okay with. I'm good at listening.

That's it folks. Like I said, a lot has happened but nothing has happened. So I'll see ya'll next week.