sleepy sam types totes

I don't really mean anything by saying "totes" in the title. I was just trying to think of something that started with t and that was all that came to mind at the moment.

Why am I typing? I should be asleep. I have to be working in less than 11 hours.

So, I've been thinking about all sorts of things and how to work them all out. I've got a lot of books that I need to read. Four that I can think of off the top of my head. And I have to learn Finnish. I started that yesterday. And it's not going to be easy. It's a language that is like nothing I've ever experienced. But I think that I'll be able to get a few people together to learn it so that we'll be able to help each other with it. that'll help it move along a bit better. I don't think that weather and culture will be big obstacles, but language could be. And I've got four months to get it down. I can do it.

How will I relate to those people? I really don't know how I'll do it. I guess I'll figure it out when I get there. Because I don't know what they'll be into. I don't know what strikes their fancy. And I won't know this stuff until I'm there and I SEE where they're at and what they're doing. At that point, I'll be able to figure it out though. So I don't need to stress about any of this stuff. My big thing that I use is movies and other shows that I've seen. I use scenes out of these to draw comparisons in order to relay my meaning when I'm talking. I don't know. it'll work itself out. I need to go to sleep. good night everybody.

I'm back at pipeline

when I first started at pipeline we started a semi-tradition of writing down funny things that we said while in the soundbooth. I called this weekly segment on my MySpace account "Soundbooth Sentences". Then I left for a while and it stopped. Now that I'm back, we'll continue with the funnies. Only this time I'll be posting to my blog so that even more people can enjoy it. YAY! And with out further adiue, I present this week's Soundbooth Sentances.....


We don't condone violence inside the theater. Only outside. So take her outside and then throw the bottle at her.

I want to be an elf.

Is he gonna blowtorch the bird?

Am I allowed to watch this? Yes....I think. WAIT! DON'T LOOK!

Pick the red one. What? The SKULL!

Grab your freaking bell!

so I'm back at pipeline

girls
sex
food
God
Friends
Missions Trips
Good times
bad times
work

These are the subjects that swirl in my head fairly constantly lately. Well, some of them just got added because they happened today, but we'll get to that later. First, the quick and easy ones. I've REALLY been craving ice cream lately. And I've been really horny for the past week or so. I'm not entirely sure why either of these are an issue, but they are.

I've really been trying to grow my relationship with God. I've been reading lots of books lately to help with this.

Free flow:
I wonder if I'll make any lasting friendships on the missions trip. I also wonder if I'll meet anyone in Finland that I'll keep in touch with after I leave. I miss her whenever she pops in my head. Most of the time I'm distracted by other things but when she pops in, she stays for a while. And then there's the other one that I really wish would leave me alone but doesn't. I wouldn't mind it if she wasn't always so whiny about everything, but MAN it gets annoying. I looked at (omitted name)'s butt tonight. I was doing something on the ground and looked up and there it was. And I stared for a couple seconds. I really don't know why this particular instance is sticking because it happens to me all the time, but it struck me for some reason. Maybe it's the horny issue.It could also be the oath I've made for the coming year. I've vowed not to get involved in any sort of relationship with anyone of the female persuasion until new years next year. So yeah. I'm really excited about the mission trip. I'm going to Finland in the spring. MAN. That's crazy for me to think about. The farthest I've ever been from Riverside is Butte, Montana. and really I didn't go there. We were just passing through. I need a passport. I'll have to get one asap. Man, I can't help but think about the possibility of meeting a girl there. I know that I'll meet a bunch of people male and female, but A girl, ya know. I can't dwell on these things though. That is totally NOT the reason for going. The reason for going is to spread the love. Share the love that God has shown me to other people. man. Ten days. I feel as though I should start learning Finnish. OR, ya know, what ever it is that they speak in Finland. We'll be working with college age people so they'll be able to help me along with the learning and they'll probably be eager to help me out because they'll see that I've made effort on my end to meet with them. And now I'm tired. So I'm going to go to bed.

my gift is my song

so we talked about spiritual gifts today at church. I'm probably not gifted in song, but I'm okay with that. But the ones I know I have and the ones I think I have I'm okay with. I know that I have the gift of helps because I help a lot. I have the desire to help and the ability to help and everyone always appreciates my help. I'm fairly certain that I have the gift of faith, because when he was talking about it it blew my face off. And I have the some of the tendencies that he mentioned would go with it. And Neal said that he could see that in me. And finally, I think I might have the knowledge/wisdom gift. I might not, but I might. I think I might have the leadership gift too. I don't know though. So I'll be testing all these things in the near future and see where it goes. And now I must sleep. good night all.

All the mistakes one life can take

Sitting and thinking. I've been avoiding it lately, in case no one has noticed. This is not a good thing for me. If I don't take time to sit and just think and let my mind wander a bit, then I start to not feel good. It's the same thing that happens to active people if they don't do anything active for a few weeks. Only it's all in my head. So, yeah...

So, I've decided to put a mind dump out there. YAY! I know you all look forward to these.

So, why is it that when I really don't want it to happen, a bunch of girls invade my life and make it all confusing for me? Off the top of my head, I can think of five girls that are in my life that make it a whirlwind of crazy for me. A few of them, I know that it's just pure physical attraction. But knowing this doesn't seem to help me much. Possibly because I've been really horny lately. And this leads to daily morningwood which makes it harder. Maybe getting up and doing sit ups every day would help. I should try it.

And then, behind all this, constantly pulling my brain strings, is HER. I haven't seen her in almost three months. I still wonder what her real reasons were. I still regret doing what I did. I still wish she was around. But all of these things are like staticky radio. Sometimes it's loud and clear; other times it's so fuzzy that you can't even make it out. And I want it to stay loud and clear all the time. And I can't help but wonder if this is God testing my fickle nature to make sure that I'm not fickle when it comes to the woman that He decides to give me. And that leads to, "Is she the one, or is she just a tester?" It's not very fun. But, I have to give it up to Him daily and trust that His plan for everything is best. Of course, that doesn't make it any easier. If anything, it makes it harder.

....TITLE...

So, it's 2am and I'm tired. But I'm still awake because I allowed myself to be distracted by youtube. I had decided way earlier that I was going to blog something, so I'm actually going to stick with that decision and blog.

What shall I blog about? I've been really depressed the past couple weeks. I just recently got through that. And why was Sam depressed? A girl. Boo. Oh well. it's how I'm wired I guess. Anyhoo, I'm through that now and I'm glad for it. I'm thinking that it was a good thing to go through because now I'm thinking about it and what it made me go through mentally and spiritually. I've developed my abilities somewhat because of it. So now, as I sit and think, I'm not just thinking about my issues, but also how I can use my slightly more honed abilities for the work of the Kingdom. I still don't know how. So I pray for that to be revealed in time.

I'm in a mopey mood right now. Not really depressed, but I just feel like sitting and brooding over my thoughts as I listen to slow, depressed music. Odd, no? Anyhoo, I'm like that sometimes. This is normal brooding, not depressed brooding. YAY! Praise be to God for giving me the ability to recognize these things about myself. And sometimes others.

I'm really torn right now. If I move into the kitchen, I'll get valuable experience with food working but I'll be making way less money. If I stay in my current bussing position, I'll be able to save up faster but I'll be getting ZERO practice with my culinary skills. And normally I'd say that money isn't that important, but now that I have big bills and an ambitious plan to buy a building for my restaurant, money is looking more and more friendly. GAH! And it's really nice to have some money when I'm so used to not having any. Anyhoo, that's where I'm at. Now I must sleep. Goodnight/morning.

Oh, and in case you're interested, here are a couple of the youtube videos that distracted me. I rather liked them. The first one looks kind of sketchy, but it's not really. I promise.