Love

I think I'm starting to finally understand it. I'm finally starting to see what it is. I've been trying to figure it out for years, and I think my brain is finally starting to wrap around it. I said "finally starting" three times in the last three sentances. Oh well.

God is Love. Therefore, if I know Love, I know God. And I'd really like to know God as well as I possibly could. As part of my growing process to know God, I've been praising Him a lot more lately. And I've been giving Him credit for a lot more than I have in the past. I think that I'm back on track in my journey for the moment. I hope I can stay this way for a long time.

wow...it's been a while....

so, I'm sitting at home, the sun is still up, and I'm not dead tired. It's been a few weeks since I've been in this situation. I figure I'll use this opportunity to post up some info, thoughts, muses, etc.

I was talking with a friend the other day and he gave me the greatest idea ever. Write down what I'm looking for in a woman. I've heard this idea before, but I don't know why it didn't stick before. So, I started and the person I'm looking for is becoming a bit more specific now. I've never been in a situation where I really knew what I was looking for. It's kind of nice to even start approaching that.

And now to add the seemingly contradictory part of my post. I'm getting closer and closer to accepting that God might call me to a life of singlehood. I got hit with that a few months ago, and again a few days ago. I know that I need to get to a point where I can accept that lifestyle, but I don't know if I'm actually called to that lifestyle yet. Isn't that spiffy? I think so.

I've also been trying something else that's rather new to me. I'm giving things up to God. And when I say "things" I mean everything. And I do mean everything. Females, language, money, cars, traffic, job, friends. I'm not gonna try and shoulder all of it anymore. So far, I'm doing okay I guess. I just gotta use my faith and trust that God can handle everything. I know in my head that he can, but my heart is a different story.

I've been reading Joshua the past few weeks. I'm liking it. It's helping me through some of this stuff. Today, as I was reading, a new thing was added to my list of things to offer up to God to take away. I've been getting increasingly judgemental the past few weeks, so I offered that up to Him. It's pretty much a story, but I'm starting to see INTO the story now. I'm seeing how I can learn from the situations that the Isrealites find themselves in. And applications for it are being revealed to me. It's pretty sweet. God is awesome like that.

And that's another thing that I realized the other day. I haven't been giving God the credit He deserves. Like, yesterday, I got a SUPER SWEET parking place in the parking lot. And then I got another one today. But I didn't realize until I was parked today that I shouldn't just say I was lucky. I should be saying that God blessed me with that sweet spot. I've said pretty much my whole life that I don't believe in luck, because I've known that God is in control of everything. So why have I been talking about luck lately? Maybe it's because people around me talk about it. I don't know. I just know I have to get away from that and start putting the credit where it belongs.

Then there's the whole thing that we should be praising God even when our life goes down the crapper, because He sent Jesus to die for our sins and we'll get to spend eternity with Him in heaven where there are no tears, there is no pain, there is no sorrow. I look at myself when I think about that though, and I see a six year old child that knows the christmas presents are in the closet. I know it's there, and I know I'm gonna get it, so I don't really think about being grateful for it, I'm just rather impatient to get it. When, in reality, I should be grateful that I know I'll be getting something, and I should show my gratefulness. So that's another thing that I'm trying to work on at the moment as well.

And, thus, my brain stops flowing. So I'll be off now. Have fun y'all.

who's interested?

so, life moves on and I continue my job. I'll be working a double tomorrow. That means more money for Sam, but also more work for Sam. I'll be VERY TIRED tomorrow night.

I'm still attempting to focus on God more and read, pray, and worship more. I think I'll continually get better with a few bad days here and there. Basically like every other aspect of my life. YAY!

I'm gettin' the hang of everything at work. I actually help people newer than me to learn things. YAY!

Deep thoughts: Sleep is good for you and that's why I'm off to do that. I'll talk at you all laters. :-D

Jack Hawkins Jr.

For those of you reading this on my Virb, make a quick hop over to my blog site and read this there.

So I just found out about Jack Hawkins Jr. This is a relative of our beloved Paige Hawkins from Pipeline. I don't know what the deal is, but appearantly Jack is having issues of some kind. I imagine they're health related issues. The family started a blog to let everyone know how he's doing and update us on the happenings. I suggest taking a look and praying for Jack and his family. I added a link to the blog over there on the left. "a word from the cockpit..." is the one to click on. Spread the word, bloggers. The more prayer, the better.

Where does this ocean go?

So, life moves and shifts. If you don't move and shift with it, you're in for a world of hurt. I believe that those nudges we get from God are there to help us with this. I needed to burn and she didn't want me to. That's an interesting thought.

But back to what I was saying. God gives us nudges, right? And, in my life at least, these nudges always come right before something happens that totally rocks my boat. I honestly believe that if I hadn't followed that little nudge I got before the most recent happenings, I would've capsized. And that's not a good thing. I could've recovered, but why recover when you can avoid? So I'm thankful that my thick skull was able to process God's will enough to avoid capsizing. But now that that crazy squall is over, I'm just sort of drifting. Well, not really drifting. I'm slowly moving in God's direction (I think) but it feels like nothing is happening, really. But this could be a good thing. It gives me time to rest and recover. So slow times are good. I enjoy it when I finally realize what it actually is. So I don't know where this ocean is going. But I don't have to know right now.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

That verse totally helped me through a bit of a tough spot on monday last week. And I believe that I will carry this verse with me for the rest of my life. So I'll leave you with that. Have fun y'all.

I'm Done

So, the drama in my life is done for now. I know that something new will crop up eventually, but for now, it's over. This has made me a happy guy.

I haven't had many thoughts lately on much of anything. This kind of bums me out. I like having deep thoughts on things. Perhaps it was all the drama. Perhaps it's the fact that I started a new job. Maybe it's my ever deepening longing for someone to share my life with. I don't know. It's probably a mix of all those and then some other things that I'm not even aware of.

I'll be missing the wedding of a family friend tomorrow. I have to learn about my truck engine and fix it. I'm kind of bummed that I'm not going because I haven't seen them in a few years, but at the same time, I'm glad because I don't have to watch them get married while I sit there wishing it was me. Or something like that. I dunno.

I feel like writing a poem or something. But at the same time, I'll feel a bit like a dork if I do. I dunno. I keep trping random thoughts that pop into my head until I make up my mind. Randon thought posts can be fun. Especially if you've got a lot of time to kill. Which I do, sort of. I should sleep, but I slept in kind of late so I'm not really tired enough to sleep. I have laundry to do. So I'm slowly working on that right now. I was gonna watch some anime while I did it, but then I got online and started checking the Space and all that, and I got inspired to blog. So now I'm randomly typing and I think it's time to go switch loads.......YEAH! only two more loads now. I was just aboutto start writing about some of the happenings at my job, but then I remembered the thing I signed that told me that everything that happened while I was on the job was the property of Disney. So no stories from my job. And that's too bad too, because I've got some REALLY good ones. Oh well.

I have a glass of water here, and it's very delicious to me. I am thoroughly enjoying each sip I take. The cool, wetness washing over my toungue, cascading down my esophagus and then finally settling in my belly. It's quite an experience. I highly encourage everyone to try it out. Just sit and live in these moments every now and then. Focus on these momentary pleasures. It'll only take a few seconds and you'll feel quite refreshed when it's over. A few places to do this: going to the bathroom, having a drink of water, aclimating to extreme temperature changes(i.e. going from hot outside to air-conditioned inside or other such happenings). So try it out. I think you'll be glad you did. I know I'm glad whenever I do it.

I'm not gonna write a poem anymore. I have nothing to write a poem about anyway. So, i'm off. I'll talk at all of you later.

Just a slice of life...

But first, the greatest short I have ever seen. And I'm not even exaggerating.


Whatch that before you read any further.





After watching that, I figured there were two ways of looking at the kiwi character. It's either foolish enough to throw it's life away, or it's brilliant enough to live it's dream. So often in life, those are the two opposing thoughts that are in our head. "Am I throwing it all away, or am I living my dream?" I say, live the dream. Why not?

When the truth is found to be lies
And all the joy within you dies
Don't you want somebody to love
Don't you need somebody to love
Wouldn't you want somebody to love
You better find somebody to love


For some reason, I feel that fits right now. I majorly pissed off a friend by doing something that I felt was needed for our relationship. And that's really all I got right now. I'm tired. Oh so tired.