the quiet hum of fans

So it's 4:30 am and I'm tired. I'm awake because I got home from work and got really uptight because I needed to complete a research paper and turn it in. I didn't need to turn it in for the grade. I needed to turn it in to keep myself from being dropped from the class.

I didn't get the paper done in time, so I didn't turn anything in, thus leading to my "auto-drop" from the course. So I don't know what's gonna happen with me on that front. And it's this uncertainty that is keeping me awake. I tried some reading: no luck with mental relaxation. Games: never really relax my mind. Talking with people: helps quite a bit. But no one's on at this time of night. So here I am posting a blog.

And I'm starting to get heavy eyes now as I keep yammering on about this particular subject. Which I guess is good, because it means that I should be able to go to sleep now if I try.

I've been spending a lot of my time looking for a place to live. I found one about a week ago and I'm slotted to move in on the 1st. It'll be a roomate situation and I'm wondering how it's gonna work out. We haven't entirely come up with a way to divide the rent. With one person sleeping in the living room, it'll be an uneven division of rent because of privacy issues.

cue tired rambling. YAY! blogging is doing what it's supposed to be doing. Of course this is why I don't attract nor keep readers. Because I usually talk about the same thing over and over or it's just random babble about being tired/stressed.

the feeling of defeat consumes me right now. And so I resign to my bed for sleep. maybe it'll put things in perspective?