All I want for christmas is........

so the title can be seen as being a bit late. And it is. But anyone that knows me knows I'm always the last one on the bus.

This year, I was pretty much on board with the whole "holiday spirit" thing. Well, more on board that I usually am. I think that focusing on God rather than my own lack of....whatever, is what put me in that spot. I even stayed in a generally good mood at work. With all the idiots. Man there were idiots.....BUT, I stayed mostly cheerful and glad to be around. I even said "merry christmas" to a couple people today and actually meant it. I've NEVER done that before. It was......weird for me.

But tonight, I kept hearing songs about being with someone at christmas time or wanting to be with someone. It kinda brought me down a bit in mood. Luckily, though, I didn't have any PEOPLE talk about that stuff. That would've made it worse. That's the main reason I got the itch to stay up and write a bit even though I'm exhausted.

I'm bugged that being single bugs me lately. On one hand, I feel like it shouldn't bug me, but on the other hand, it's a legitimate desire. So.....yeah. Bit of a loop de loop there. That's just part of life though isn't it? I dunno.

So yeah, I had a pretty good christmas. Lunch with dad and dinner with my sister. It was pretty nice, all things considered. And now I'm off to bed. Gotta sleep. really tired.