wow...it's been a while....

so, I'm sitting at home, the sun is still up, and I'm not dead tired. It's been a few weeks since I've been in this situation. I figure I'll use this opportunity to post up some info, thoughts, muses, etc.

I was talking with a friend the other day and he gave me the greatest idea ever. Write down what I'm looking for in a woman. I've heard this idea before, but I don't know why it didn't stick before. So, I started and the person I'm looking for is becoming a bit more specific now. I've never been in a situation where I really knew what I was looking for. It's kind of nice to even start approaching that.

And now to add the seemingly contradictory part of my post. I'm getting closer and closer to accepting that God might call me to a life of singlehood. I got hit with that a few months ago, and again a few days ago. I know that I need to get to a point where I can accept that lifestyle, but I don't know if I'm actually called to that lifestyle yet. Isn't that spiffy? I think so.

I've also been trying something else that's rather new to me. I'm giving things up to God. And when I say "things" I mean everything. And I do mean everything. Females, language, money, cars, traffic, job, friends. I'm not gonna try and shoulder all of it anymore. So far, I'm doing okay I guess. I just gotta use my faith and trust that God can handle everything. I know in my head that he can, but my heart is a different story.

I've been reading Joshua the past few weeks. I'm liking it. It's helping me through some of this stuff. Today, as I was reading, a new thing was added to my list of things to offer up to God to take away. I've been getting increasingly judgemental the past few weeks, so I offered that up to Him. It's pretty much a story, but I'm starting to see INTO the story now. I'm seeing how I can learn from the situations that the Isrealites find themselves in. And applications for it are being revealed to me. It's pretty sweet. God is awesome like that.

And that's another thing that I realized the other day. I haven't been giving God the credit He deserves. Like, yesterday, I got a SUPER SWEET parking place in the parking lot. And then I got another one today. But I didn't realize until I was parked today that I shouldn't just say I was lucky. I should be saying that God blessed me with that sweet spot. I've said pretty much my whole life that I don't believe in luck, because I've known that God is in control of everything. So why have I been talking about luck lately? Maybe it's because people around me talk about it. I don't know. I just know I have to get away from that and start putting the credit where it belongs.

Then there's the whole thing that we should be praising God even when our life goes down the crapper, because He sent Jesus to die for our sins and we'll get to spend eternity with Him in heaven where there are no tears, there is no pain, there is no sorrow. I look at myself when I think about that though, and I see a six year old child that knows the christmas presents are in the closet. I know it's there, and I know I'm gonna get it, so I don't really think about being grateful for it, I'm just rather impatient to get it. When, in reality, I should be grateful that I know I'll be getting something, and I should show my gratefulness. So that's another thing that I'm trying to work on at the moment as well.

And, thus, my brain stops flowing. So I'll be off now. Have fun y'all.