Inner Universe

I spend a lot of time in my head. This is not new news. And this, coupled with my natural tendencies to clam up and isolate myself can really bring me to horrible places. But I'm working on this. I've been being a lot more open lately and I'm hoping the trend continues.

That being said, I also know that I DO need my times with out anyone else around. I need times of silence in dark rooms. I NEED times like this. But I can't allow myself to slip into a lifestyle of lonely, dark rooms. It's a fine line of balance that needs to be met, but with God on my side, I know that the balance will be achieved. And with those two points stated, I dive into my current obsessive thoughts.....

Why is it that they always fall off the map? They literally disappear. I make one mistake (albeit a pretty big one) and they're gone. I'm human and I screw up. Why is it that people have trouble when I make a mistake but I can usually move on rather quickly? Of course, I assume they're having issues with moving on but I don't really know. They're GONE. Anyway....If I continue with this topic I'll just start going in circles.

I've been sensing attacks lately. They're very subtle and I probably wouldn't even give them a second glance if I didn't know that Satan worked this way. The paragraph above this one is a good example. I do something wrong and I know that I shouldn't have done it. Then all these issues come up about ruining my future because of these mistakes. I often audibly correct myself because the pressure of these thoughts gets so big. Something to help is to choose to give things up to God as each issue presents itself. It's a good practice to have and I intend on taking it up from here on out.

I'm getting along with the people at work. and I've been invited to hang out with them. I'm really thinking that I should. I'm going to try. The question I have is whether or not to drink if the issue comes up. Because there's the bit about not being "holier than thou" but also I need to present a Godly image. I most definitely can't get totally "effed up". Perhaps if I set my limit to one drink each time we hang out. I don't know. It's something that I really need to pray about and seek God for.

The power of "with". It's amazing. When we work together, we are definitely more than the sum of our parts. We need to get on it people. And I do stress WE.

Thank you SCU. I wasn't there, but I'm fairly certain that you guys did that last night. So thank you. I hope and pray that we can start a trend.

You ever feel a bit like Paul? I do sometimes. Oh well. Toodles y'all.